Clovers

While I was exploring different parts of Ireland, I came across this saying that I thought was so sweet..."A friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find but lucky to have." It most likely seems corny and geared towards getting the tourists to buy something shiny, but I still liked it. It comes to mind at this moment, while I sort through my swirling thoughts about where I am right now...

I've been through quite a few struggles, most of which, I don't even write about because they seem to be endless. But in each struggle, the Lord has taken my hand and guided me through it, step by step, so that I can learn from them and grow. When you have to deal with frequent circumstances where people leave you or let you down, you become distrustful and leary of being close to anybody because you want to protect your heart from hurting more. I'm thankful to say, God has given me some dear friends in a short amount of time that I've treasured greatly.

I know that they will never understand how much I value them, how much I have been blessed to share some time and get to know them. It's something I can't fully put to words because it's hard to express all that you feel inside. It's hard to show someone your life in full span -where they can see the absolute anguish people made you feel with their acts of cruelty or simple lack of compassion. And it's hard to let people know how much you safeguard the inner circle around you because you are so very particular about who you allow to know you well. I've tried to say it as best I can but I still don't think I do all that great of a job:p

The years that I've seen so many people act carelessly have made me somewhat of a loner, I would usually like to do things by myself or with only family members because I live differently than what some would classify as 'normal.' It doesn't bother me to be different, in fact, I don't like fitting in with the crowd or blending in with the scenery. There just doesn't seem to be any meaning in following after people...why follow others that are as lost as you?

When Jesus is the focus of your life, the direction you walk is usually the opposite way. The crowd follows the five minutes of fun, with a wide road that takes you to a confused 'Oz' where you might think some wizard can fix your problems, but it's just a big mess. No one knows what they're doing but no one wants to be told they can't do it. It's a merry-go-round...you never stop....round and round it spins with the flashing lights and loud music...but you only go in a circle.

Looking for God to lead you will mean walking on a different road...one that's a bit rockier to walk on because it's the road less traveled. This is the road where you have to learn to grow strong, or you'll fall down. People will shout for you to turn around, because that hard road disagrees with the direction they go in. Sometimes they'll make their way sound better & more fun...sometimes they'll pressure you in a way to embarrass you...and sometimes they just hurl insults. All of these things are meant and intended to make you fall, to make you discouraged, and to make you leave the road you're walking on.

It's not an easy road, by any means, but the Lord guides you on and encourages you to press forward so you'll reach the goal. The goal is to live with Him, to lead a life that gives Him glory and show others how to know Him so they can also have the peace & joy of knowing Jesus. And everyday that you walk on that road means you have to learn more so you can go farther. There will be struggles and frustrating things thrown in your face but you get stronger through each one because God is there to show you what to do.

Pretty soon, walking down that hard road becomes a passion for you...you're determined to reach that goal and live your life to the absolute fullest that it can get. Things that might've tempted you to turn away are no longer even attractive to you because the love you have for the Lord is stronger than a love for the world. Caring about the opinions or praise from people no longer matters, because you understand that the opinion of God is more important and giving praise to Him grows inside of you like a fire. Instead of people jumping around you to try and sway you to follow them, you show them a reason to follow God.

But many people are swayed into following the crowds....they've had the best there is, in Jesus. And yet they rebel against it and reject the precious gift He's given us so they can enjoy some meaningless moments of so called 'fun.' The kind of 'fun' that leaves you with no lasting joy, no peace in your heart, and nothing good at all to show for it. They trade it all for nothing that lasts.

I've met some amazing friends on this hard, but awesome road that I'm walking on....people that I try to give encouragement to as much as possible, and people that I would defend in a second. What a blessing, to walk in the same direction as so many people you love! Sometimes it seems like they're walking faster or slower, but you're all walking in the same direction, all with the same passion and determination to continue on.

There are times, however, when you can see some of these amazing people look away from the road and start to stumble as they walk. The glittery 'Oz' starts to seem attractive, and they start to slow down. Being a friend means seeing that danger and telling them to be careful, because you want to protect them from the disaster than can so easily rip them apart. Sometimes the friends listen and quickly check themselves to make sure they aren't being pulled away....while other times, they can become angry & resentful to you for saying anything at all. You have to understand it could go either way, but you have to make that choice in spite of it.

Would a real follower of God say the words He told them to say, even if it meant someone they loved might not like it? Would a real friend shout a warning, whether it was wanted or not, or would they be silent and let disaster come?

I decided to be obedient to the One I love the most, and that's the Lord. And I decided to love my friends so much that I was willing to potentially lose them. God showed me what was most important, and that in these circumstances...it's not about me. It's about Him. And even though I can't see what will happen from one day to the next...He knows, and He's going to carry me through it.

So I'm thanking the Lord for showing me some things I need to grow in, and how many ways He's already helped me to grow. I'm thankful for the honor of being called to walk on this hard road and the love He must have for me to want to so carefully teach me how to walk on it in strength. And I'm thankful for all the 'clovers' He's allowed me to see as I go forward. I am truly blessed.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."
-Proverbs 27:6

"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him!"
-Ecclesiastes 5:10

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him. For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and it's desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."
-1 John 2:15-17