― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
I understand the quietness that was referred to in this quote. It's very strange. It's not that you simply are quiet outside, but that you actually feel quiet inside and reflect that out. There are some things that happen in such a way that you are left without the proper words to speak. In these moments, I can listen to the music...but I can't sing the song. I can hear the phone ring, but I can't answer. It's not that I'm paralyzed from shock or anything, I just feel quiet.
It doesn't always come after tears though, sometimes you can feel so quiet that you can't even find tears as an outlet. There's nothing. Just quiet. The quietness can envelope your world, or at least the way you see it anyway. It doesn't feel like depression though, it's not a mood brought on by something flippant. No...when something that you can't quite grasp or something of perplexing depth occurs, the quiet everness can occasionally fall like snow around you and engulf your perception. Almost like the snow becomes tiny little parachutes that hush all the sound..
There's a certain point that you can reach the level of quietness in this quote; when you are worn out from grief. You're tired and you have no fight in you, a kind of surrender that's come when you're too exhausted for objections.
I also think it's the point where your soul knows it just needs to pause.....to stop all talking and all thoughts, and just listen. When your soul needs to hear the voice that it longs for, the voice that can speak life into you, the voice that gives direction and encouragement. The voice of the Lord. His voice can calm the furies and the raging seas around me, it can bring me to my knees and it can also bring me to my feet. I love His voice. He wakes me in the morning with His words of love, He deflects discouragement with His comfort throughout my day, He cheers me on and tells me to take heart when my day get's harder & longer, and He speaks peace over me so I can sleep at night. I love His voice. It's my favorite voice to hear.
Right now I feel quiet. That may change in the next minute, hour, day or so on...but for this particular moment, I feel quiet. I'm listening for my favorite voice to speak and guide me. And so far I feel like His voice is saying, "Keep loving....and keep going."
So if going through the emotional tempests is what it takes for me to enter into the quiet everness, where I hear God's voice....then ok. I will go through it without complaint. To hear Him speak is worth the trek.
"Be still, my soul - the Lord is on thy side!
Bear patiently the cross of grief and pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide -
In ev'ry change He faithful will remain
Be still, my soul - thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end."
- Be Still My Soul (hymn)
