Dance of the Dragonflies

Well to update from the last post, I did end up putting a couple songs up on a new page. We'll see how that goes, but so far it's been pretty interesting.

Much has been stirring in the past weeks...we will now be leaving from the summerlands to journey back up the coast to Virginia, where we are originally from anyway. It was definitely an adventure to leave where we had lived all our lives and rarely left for any real length of time, to set out to the mountains of VA for a few months and then trek down to Florida. I do enjoy the warm weather down here and will miss feeling the sun nearly everyday that I stepped out of the house. Such a treasure to be surrounded by the beach and bay and watch boats cruise past you as you swim in the pool a few feet away. I'll always remember that:)

The skies in Florida really are magnificent, with clouds in formations that we've only seen in the movies. Complete masterpieces every time you turn around! Ofcourse there are the countless natives of the land who are incredibly curious as to what you're doing and where you are going. The only time I have never minded lizards:) Though if they crossed my territory and tried to live in the vacinity of where I sleep, that's a completely different matter. All bets are off there.

Another lovely memory I hope to keep with me is that of the dragonflies. There are so many here that it's almost alarming when you first see them because they're just everywhere. In our regular walks that we take, they come out in the hundreds and swoop over our heads in this awesome kind of dance. Now ordinarily the idea of having that many bugs around me is enough to weird me out and send me over the edge to grab a can of bugspray and spray the entire planet into an overpolluted-bug free airzone, but these particular bugs are considerably polite & make a hurry to fly out of your way. They must be well-mannered:)

The evening seems to be their favorite time to come out, right when the sun is going down. They fly higher than the tops of our heads when we walk through them and bounce back and forth in long assembly lines above the sidewalk, resembling more of an archway of flyers to those that unfortunately have to stay on the ground. But it is truly a sight to see. How awesome God is to create so many unique creatures.

I have enjoyed many things about this place...but I pray that I will always be up for the next adventure that the Lord leads me on to.

Choosing Hands

Well I'm thinking about putting up a music page eventually...something that I could use to put out some of the songs that the Lord has given me. I'm not quite sure if it will happen though, I just can't seem to make up my mind on it at the moment.

On the one hand, it would be wonderful to post some songs that I so much want to share with people in the hopes that God will take them and use them to bless someone. That's what they're intended to do...speak. Speak to hearts about different things that I have gone through, what others may be going through around me, or of what someone may go through in the future in some part of the world. There are many different ways a song can speak to you. That's what makes it personal.

But on the other hand...these handful of songs that I have are definitely not perfect. And though they are songs that are meant to be shared, they are also personal to me in a way that makes me feel guarded in releasing them to be harshly criticized. We all deal with criticism everyday, whether it's from others or from ourselves, but I guess I'm still uncertain of whether I want to face more of it right now. I just don't know.

Ofcourse, it's not going to scar me for life if someone says that I stink or can't play my guitar or whatever. But I'm still mulling it over in my head about what would be the best decision....probably sounds like a silly thing to be spending perfectly good time mulling over in your head, but I won't deny the fact that I have silly moments...quite frequently...especially in the presence of my family, where it's magnified by 100. Hey, it's inherited.

So...it will all come down to whether I feel like this is what the Lord wants me to do, and then I will face the risk of complete shredderous criticism of allowing people to hear them. Or I will keep them on the back burner for a bit longer and wait for God's perfect timing in making me more ready to do it later. We shall soon see which of the two it is..

And shredderous is definitely a word. I'm sure it'll catch on when the urban dictionary picks it up, if they haven't already;) Though whenever I hear the word 'shred' used at all, the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles come to mind. Yes, I know what you're thinking...a lot of things whirl around in my mind. That's why I call it Wonderland, people. Making sense of it has become quite an adventure and one test after another in following the voice of the Lord.

Leonardo was definitely cooler because of the double swords...but I have to admit that Michelangelo (pardon my spelling if incorrect) was way more amusing. And brave. Who else would dare to talk like a surfer and say 'cowabungu' while fighting ninja foot soldiers and an evil foe dressed in metal? Yeah, I think that's pretty bold.

True Bloom

There's a saying that some people are 'late bloomers.' What does that mean exactly? Is it to describe the fact that someone is taking a while to get themselves together? Or they have potential, but they're slow to realize it? Or maybe it's just a parent's way of sugarcoating the reality that their kid is a freak and won't find it out until they enter the mid-30's. I really don't know for sure what the true meaning of it is, to tell the truth. I've always thought it meant something good, so hopefully my assumptions are correct:) But the reason I hope so much that I'm right in thinking that way is because sometimes I feel very much like a late bloomer. Blooming into what, I don't know. But whatever it is, it's late.

I see many people that I grew up with in school and it feels weird to see them older. And though they're obviously the same people that I knew and easily recognizable, there's an obvious difference. Age. It's not a bad thing at all, but it is something you can usually see I think. I guess not in everybody, but in most you can tell that they've grown up and started their own families. Aging is just a part of life....but what if you feel like you're almost stuck in a time warp? Yeah, that's weird.

But it's not even solely based on the aging process really...it's also the feeling that you haven't accomplished what you set out to do yet. Knowing you have this purpose and mission to do something, and yet you're still not ready to do it. It can get frustrating at times because you want so much to begin a new season of your life but you have no way of getting to that place at the moment.

I know I've described it to people before, but it really does feel like I'm hovering in this place between the earth and sky. I can see the reality of my life underneath my feet, but I can also see the promise of what God has planned for me way above my head. And even though that promise is something I can see and view to be right there for me...it's still too far to reach. So then there's a balance of living in reality and doing the everyday tasks that can really bore you enough to keel over while you push the grocery cart through Walmart, while you also don't allow yourself to forget what you know is in your future. That there is going to be something more to your life than this.

So that is where I am at right now, floating around in the Wait Zone. It can be pretty hard sometimes up there, but I'm trying to learn all the things that God is teaching me at this time so I can be ready for the things to come.

I don't know what I'm late in blooming in exactly....but I hope to find out soon:)